How am I?

I have had several requests that I keep a running update here of how I am progressing with my neurological problems, so here you go....

I am still having absences. I am no longer keeping tabs on how many but between 15 and 20 a day is about the average. I am trying to rest more during the day (particularly as I am tending to get up early with Ellie) so this reduces the time available to have them in! They appear to be a bit shorter than they were as Lisa assures me they are usually between 5-8 seconds and never more than 10 seconds. They are still very annoying and upsetting. Every activity I do I have to factor in the possibility of freezing for a few seconds and alter my plans accordingly.

I am still having memory loss. Again, I am not keeping a really close eye on this as I found that quite upsetting. Unless I am quizzed, or am trying to remember something, I don't know that I've forgotten it! However, I seem to be 'losing' about half of the previous day and there are little 'gaps' in my recollection of the current day. This is a slight improvement, however. I am working quite hard at not worrying about this (which would be counterproductive) and am trying to use humour as something of a coping mechanism.

I still have an occasional tremour in my left hand. It happens maybe five times a day and lasts for 10-15 seconds. It causes me no distress whatsoever...unless I'm holding a drink when it happens! I suppose I do find it a bit embarrassing though.

The big problem for me is the cognitive changes that have occurred. Its hard to explain but...I can only do one thing at a time. If I break off an activity to go and do something else I can't go back to it without beginning again. I have to consciously work out all the stages in EVERY activity...even making a cup of tea. I have to check that each stage is correct. As a result everything is taking a lot longer than normal. There are also gaps in my logic. This makes it difficult to problem solve, follow books, films, TV, and, most importantly, play games! I am managing to do all these things but they are harder than usual and leave me feeling drained. I am also finding it hard to retain new information and make it make sense.

On the work front...I met this week with my manager and a representative from Unison. I can't remember much of it but I think it went well. I am awaiting the minutes to sign and we will meet again in four weeks to review the requested medical information. The stumbling block is that it is not currently possible for anyone to say when I will be able to return to work..which is awkward. I don't think how long I've got before they terminate my contract came up, so I intend discussing his with the very nice Unison rep.

All in all I'm a bit miserable and 'down' some of the time, but I'm enjoying lots of things and see more achievements in normal, everyday life than I used to.