Out of the Games Cupboard

A random assortment of reflections, musings and a running commentary on life.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Chronicles of a Stay At Home Dad # 1

Friday the 2nd of february 2007 is a significant date for me. It marked the start of my time as a stay at home dad. The picky amongst you will point out that I have looked after Eleanor by myself for rather a lot of Thursdays before this. However, due to my change in employment status Lisa and I decided to reduce Eleanor's nursery days. The 2nd was therefore the first Friday (and also the first two days in a row) when I had sole responsibility for our daughter.

This is important for me as I no longer feel that I have somehow failed by losing my job, or indeed that I am a failure for having the neurological problems which are forcing so many changes in our lives. I felt like Ellie's daddy. For two days in a row she relied on me completely (in as much as she relies on anyone being the independent almost-three year old she is!). We had a great time. The trick is to plan two activities in the morning and two in the afternoon. She helps out with the dishes, cooking, laundry, tidying and vacuuming (she even helps move the furniture!). She enjoys all these domestic tasks and now, two weeks later, asks to do them! However, I do not count them as 'activities'.

Of course the bigger trick is not caring if you don't get to do all the activities you have planned. Sometimes its better just to go along with what she wants to do. We spent an afternoon laid on the floor reading books when I was all ready to do some scrapbooking with her. It was lovely. She kept giving me cuddles and copying what I was doing. Sometimes she laid on her back with her eyes closed listening to me reading. She even asked me to read some bits again if they made her laugh.

Two weeks on and I feel quite seasoned. I have spotted a trend in that if Eleanor naps on Thursday she won't nap on Friday. However, this can mean she's a bit grumpy by Friday afternoon. Tomorrow I'm going to try to get her to story time at our local library to head off any tantrums. I've also learnt not to leave Eleanor alone with a bowl of icing which I think she is mixing......

Today we spent an hour having a bath and an hour painting dragons (non of them are particularly recognisable but we enjoyed ourselves). When Ellie finally wakes up from her nap I am hoping that we can walk to the local playground and then come home and maybe do some scrapbooking. Ellie also has asked if she can have a little orange for her snack (along with a glass of water with ice in it!).

The nicest part of this for me is that I feel so much more confident and comfortable with my daughter. I thought I did before but....its like chocolate. You know you like it when eating Dairy Milk and Galaxy. But then someone gives you a present from Hotel Chocolat and you discover that chocolate exists on a whole other level. There can be more nuance, more variety of flavour, less sweetness, more...well, everything really! My recent experiences of fatherhood have been just like this.

The other nice part is that now Ellie makes as many demands on me as she does her mum. Although this is a double-edged rusk really....

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